Wednesday, June 4, 2008

No One Knows Like His Nose Knows!

Right on the nose! That's where the cup landed when it slipped out of my hand with Aven underneath me eagerly awaiting a cup of milk. Thankfully it was empty. Even so, we had a little bloody nose to deal with. It did seem to bleed for quite a while, but not a terribly large amount.

Next come boogers. I hate boogers. I cannot stand for boogers to be peeking out of my kids noses. I attack! Aven hates it and usually flails about anytime I wipe his nose. After having a bloody nose, he had lots of little bloody boogers. I had to be very gentle about removing any boogers so that I did not restart the flow.

Several days later he and I were playing together in the kitchen. I toss him up in the air and then swing him down to the ground. I notice a dark shadow up his nose, same side that was bloody days earlier. I saw what I suspected was the last of the 'bloody boogers.' I so wanted to get it out! It wasn't really peeking out, so I left it alone not wanting to start the whole process over again.

Fast forward two days to Memorial Day. It was almost an instant replay of the playtime days earlier. I tossed him up over my head and then gave him a ride down to the floor and laid him on the rug. He was laughing and when he tilted his head back while I tickled him, I saw it! It was not a bloody booger, it was something blue! "STEPHEN!" I yelled to my husband. "I need you!" Click on the picture and when you see it full size you can see the little blue thing!

I grabbed the tweezers and we held him down to investigate. It appeared that he had shoved a broken off tip of a crayon up his right nostril. I tried to retrieve it without victory. I called my best friend and asked if she could keep the other three kiddo's while we visited the emergency room. When I told my husband we could take them to her house he said "Uh, I don't want to go to the emergency room. I'll stay here with the boys!" My sweet husband is a big hypochondriac. Don't worry, he knows it. He admits it. I called my best friend, Dawn, back, explained and asked if she would go. Thankfully, she accepted. We don't get to spend a lot of time together, so we take what we can get!

Being Memorial Day, the waiting room at the ER was full of folks who had injured themselves in a variety of ways. There was also lots of sick folks around. It's a good thing my husband didn't go with me. If he had, he would certainly have left there with a broken ankle, heart condition, badly cut hand, and the stomach flu. He may have also contracted all sorts of lovely diseases from the germy waiting room. The wait was long. Very long. Like the hour that we sat there, one, possibly two people where taken back. My sweet friend got on the horn and found a minor emergency center that was open. This was during the day and most of them don't open until evening.

Dawn wheeled Aven in his stroller out to the car why I waited to check out with the triage nurse. She told me that the first thing they would have me try when they took us back, would be for me to try and dislodge it. She said that when I get out to the car I should hold the empty nostril shut and blow forcefully into his mouth. Wha?!!! I ask if I could hurt him doing that and she assured me that all would be fine. As I walked through the parking lot toward my car, I hollered at Dawn not to buckle Aven in yet.

I opened the back door of the Yukon and stood the little guy up back there. Dawn stood behind me and held his arms down while I held one nostril shut and blew into his mouth. It did a great job of making him very angry and not so great a job at dislodging anything but a few boogers. I decided to try again, this time with a little more umph. I gave it another go and this time I dislodged not the little blue thing, but lots of snot and boogers! I had some of the most disgusting tasting stuff in my mouth! I was trying not to gag! Since this attempt failed, we headed to the minor emergency center.

I told Dawn on the way that I though maybe someone who didn't love him as much as I did would be able to get it out with tweezers. My husband called for an update and said that he thought someone that wouldn't be as gentle could probably get it out! Great minds think alike!

We only had to wait about half an hour before we were taken back to see the doc. He came in and said "What do we have here? Something up the nose huh?" I laid him down on the table and the ole' doc had that sucker out in less than 10 seconds. He held up the blue thingy and said "Well, it's not a crayon. Whatever it is, it doesn't belong up there" and with that he tossed it in the trash can! Aaaaahhhh, I needed that! As soon as the doc finished talking, he and the nurse walked out. Before I could say anything, Dawn has digging in the trash to find the blue thingy. Luckily it landed on top, in one of those papers that they tear off the bed after each patient. Unable to identify it, I slathered it with the antimicrobial wash from the wall dispenser and promptly shoved it my purse.

Aven fell asleep on the way home. I probably would have too! When we got home and I pulled out my little napkin wrapped blue thingy to ask the family for their help figuring out what it was. I didn't have it out for 3 seconds before Randon looked over and said "Oh, that's a part from my boat." A couple of weeks ago, I let Randon paint and assemble one of those little woodworking kits from the craft store. Evidently the little smoke stack will slide right up your nose and the boat looks just as good without it's smoke stack.

What I learned from this:
1. That little warning on boxes that read "Not For Children Under Three" isn't just for choking hazards.
2. The cup that caused the bloody nose likely caused it because there was a foreign object up there already. Even good moms fail to notice what would seem like the obvious!
3. You can have something up your nose for almost a week without anyone noticing and with minimal whining.
4. People do stupid things on Memorial Day, avoid hospitals.
5. Painted wood will lose some of it's paint if smothered in snot for a time.
6. Babies do not like tweezers anywhere near their faces.
7. It takes a lot of force to blow snot and boogers out of someones face and onto your own.
8. Snot, boogers, tears and saliva taste really nasty together, and probably separately as well.
9. When you are 19 months old, Live and Learn does not really apply. Aven still attempts to shove something up his nose almost daily.
10. You can shove about 5 pieces of macaroni and cheese up your nose in the time it takes your mom to hand your brothers their dinner plates.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

That is still hilarious, I know it tasted gross but your face was like a mastercard commercial, Priceless!!!!!!

Bobbi West said...

I'm glad that I can laugh about it now! I'm pretty sure you could laugh about it then! I guess it's better to be a Mastercard commercial than be talk show material!

Anonymous said...

Amen!!!!!!!!