Silly Putty......The Scourge of Fabrics Everywhere

This evening my husband and I tucked our children into bed and left them in the care of my sis in law while we ventured out to spend some quality time together doing laundry! Yes, laundry. Our dryer is broken, so we went into town to use the dryers at the apt complex that my sister manages. When we arrived home we found our sweet three year old cuddled on the couch with his cousin Miranda.

While we were putting things away a teary eyed Miranda came in with her baby doll, covered in green silly putty. History....this doll.....Lucy, has been Miranda's baby doll since she was one year old. Her daddy got it for her on a quick trip to the store and brought it to her during a short hospital stay she endured. This doll has been through 9 years of some serious loving. She is faded and worn, but is still and always will be a treasure. The silly putty came from another of our nieces birthday party this afternoon.

When I saw the doll, I tried to remain calm, for Miranda's sake. Stephen tossed the doll in the freezer and then we pulled off the excess putty. Most came off, but there was still a large stained area where there wasn't really any to remove, but the color and tiny bits remained. I hopped online and found a fix. Alcohol. And of course, I'm out. But I do have some alcohol prep wipes! I fetched the box of those and went to work on the face, neck and chest of Lucy. Within minutes she was looking great and smelling like she had just come from outpatient surgery. The Westfamily Surgical Center got 5 stars from Miranda, Tracy and Lucy!

Miranda's tears were gone and she was ready to go back to bed. Then she found more silly putty. Only this time, it was in Daniel's hair. A very large, mostly irremovable chunk of green silly putty was smashed into the back of his beautiful hair. After a tug or two it became apparent that alcohol wasn't to play a part in this surgery...we had to go straight for the razor. Okay, not a razor really, but the clippers anyway. No guard either, we couldn't get one under the mess. Daniel was not happy as Daddy held him and I preformed the first cut. It came off rather quickly, with only three or four quick snips but lots of yelling and some flailing about.


Luckily, Daniel's curls had been cut off several months ago. Had this happened to Aven, who still has curls, I would not have been able to just shave off his hair all the way to the skin! It wasn't ideal with Dan Dan either, but at least his hair is mostly short to began with. Now we will just have a story to tell about why he has a bald spot. Surely we can come up with some interesting stories like he had a grey spot so we cut it out instead of dyeing it, or he chronically rubs that spot until the hair falls out or he wanted to go bald but when he felt the bare shavers he changed his mind. I could draw on some stitches and we could pretend that one of his brothers helped him sustain an injury that required a shaved head and some local anesthetic. Of course there are many more....any ideas?

Year In Review - Blood Sweat and Tears

Rain, Rain....Go Away!

If you live in Oklahoma and recall anything about summer 07, you will recall the rain. That's pretty much all it did that summer, rain. And then it rained some more. After that, it rained again.

We live on about 5 acres, and I love every inch of it. I love to hold events at my house to enjoy this space. When our homeschool group halted it's summer meetings, I offered to hold, not meeting, but get togethers at my home each month. This way, we could still take a break from the meeting style setting, but still enjoy the fellowship of each other. Just days before our first gathering was scheduled, it was raining...go figure. Our yard was so soggy that we had to cancel the get together. I was not happy about it. But there was always next month!

The soggy mess continued and for days we couldn't open our garage door because of all the water rushing by it. There is no ditch or drain out near the road by our house. Water and more water runs into one of our fields from I don't even know how many acres to our west. All of this water then runs down and pools beside the driveway. After it levels with the driveway, it runs back up towards the garage, fills the cement driveway in front of the garage, travels down the sidewalk and out across the front yard. As if this isn't enough, while the rain is coming down, it can't make this journey fast enough so the water also spills over the driveway from the 'pond' and takes out across the front yard from another direction. After running through the yard and taking a significant amount of dirt with it, it spills down under the fence...where erosion has removed several feet of earth and there it forms a creek. Behind the mini barn thing and out into the south east field and its on its way towards the lake.

When we moved into this house, I decided this place needed a name. Between Scissortail Landing and Deer Run, Deer Run stuck. On the phone with my husband one afternoon, letting him know the extent of this particular day's flooding, I said "Well, I was thinking of changing the name from Deer Run to A River Runs Through It." Once, Stephen called to say he was on his way home and I told him that at the bend of the driveway, it was likely that he would have to abandon car and swim for it. Other days I told him to stop by Academy and pick up a canoe so that he could get to the house! While those are obviously just exaggerations, our family thrives on the humor that comes out of all situations. Not everyone would appreciate the way we see some things as just plain laughable.

It was beyond wet. No shoe could survive a trip to the van, even it was parked in the closest spot. There was no way you could park in the yard to shorten the trip, it was so soggy the van would have been our new yard flamingo, but more expensive and less vibrant. On days that the rain didn't pour down from the sky all day long, we were never dry. Our pond remained filled and we had three ducks. Really, we had three ducks that came here every day that we had water to swim in. The kids enjoyed to 'pond' too and they had a great time chasing those ducks around. We also had our very first time witness of wildlife love in action. "Oh honey, that duck isn't hurting her (on our porch)!"

Many a days did I stand on the porch watching the water rushing by wondering if it would overtake us. It was so close on a few occasions. Had the water reached the top of the porch, it would have been right in the house, as the porch is tilted. Had the water reached the house, it would have been in my living room, as it is sunken.

When we investigated the flooding in the garage, it was, well, wet. Really wet. We rented a giant dumpster and our LifeGroup came over and helped us clean up the soggy mess. As we sifted through the moldy puddles and soaked boxes, we realized the water went much further into the garage then we thought it did. In some places the water went all the way up the back wall. The dumpster was filled with damaged stuff from our garage. Lots of it was junk. I mean before the flood! After it, nearly everything was junk! It was certainly a way to lighten our load and for the most part I was okay with it. When we found things that were special I was upset. I had to throw away moldy photographs and lots of artwork that my children had made when they were very young. A box of my oldest sons stuffed animals got ruined and he did not take it lightly when we had to chunk his things in the trash.

Large black stains marked the floor in each place a moldy box was pulled up. I learned that nothing should ever be stuck in a cardboard box. Even though the water was only a few inches high, the cardboard just soaks up the water and ruins everything inside. We tossed yearbooks, birthday cards and momentos of all kinds. We lost clothes and Christmas stuff, computer parts and more. As I think back about it, it saddens me remember what we had to throw out, but I remember that they are just things and my memories do not require tangible items in order for me to enjoy them. That was a lesson that I know will benefit me forever, as it has come in very handy during the past year.

It's amazing how, so many times, we can see God's hand all over our messes that are so much more than just messes. Did that make any sense? I mean, being able to look back and see His purpose for our mess. The Lord gave us humor to deal with lots of soggy, smelly, ruined shoes. He reminded us that we have our memories as we sifted through garbage bound keepsakes. He gave us ducks to enjoy while our house was all but floating away. He even gave us a rainbow to remind us He has all things under control.

Year In Review : Blood, Sweat and Tears

July may seem like an odd time to do a review of the last year. It's actually going to be a little more than a year, as our 'adventure' started in June. For us, the last year has been a roller coaster ride of ups and downs, giving and receiving, highs and lows, openings and closings, laughter and tears, openness and withdrawl, joys and sorrows.

At church this weekend, during a sermon on loss, this verse reminded me of what I had already written in the paragraph above.
Ecclesiastes 3 A Time for Everything
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.


June 2 - Stephen and I had been talking about opening up a church in Enid for quite some time. We had lots of great excuses like "Oh, we are expecting." or "We have a baby." or "Our van isn't reliable." and a host of others. We went to church to hear the last week of a series called Fearless. This particular sermon was on 'facing your Goliath." The gentleman that spoke talked about how is most recent Goliath was the sermon itself, as it was the first one he had ever given. During service Stephen leaned over to me and said "Enid is my Goliath." I acknowledged his statement and continued to listen to the sermon.

As we were getting up to leave, Stephen said "We are going to Enid next weekend." I replied with something really clever like "You mean, like the one seven days from now?" Uh, huh. I asked several questions on the way towards the exit, which takes quite a while when you sit in the front row. He didn't know the answer to most of them, but he knew we were going, and that's all he needed to know right then.

The following week we packed up our van, hauled our family and a bunch of stuff to Enid to set up church in the American Legion. Since we had zero advertising, we put on church for our mommies! We did a couple of weeks of 'dry runs' before we even made some fliers. One afternoon after packing things back up, we went to lunch at one of our local favorite restaurants. My husband had previously worked for the owner and I suggest that he ask if we could put out some fliers. He did, and we left a small stack of fliers there. Those were the only ones that we ever put out. From that small stack of fliers, an amazing transformation occurred!

A gentleman picked one up and excitedly called his coworker and friend and read it to him. The gentleman he called was Marshall Billingslea. Marshall made a bunch of phone calls, tracked us down at home and talked to Stephen about what we were doing in Enid. The Billingslea family came to our rented room at the American Legion the following week and instantly became an intricate part of Anew Church. A year and two moves later, the church has grown so much!

There is so much more to come in this 'Year In Review.' I hope you will visit again to read about everything from puppies and kittens to injuries and surgeries. We will also cover flood, fire, fungus, famine, foliage, flood (yes, twice) and funerals. We will cover the good, the bad and the ugly.

What is your favorite memory of your past year?

The Retriever.....He Retrieves!

We have a new puppy. His name is Duke. Duke is an adorable

yellow lab. Duke is quite possibly the cutest puppy ever. This morning, he and I played for a long time before the kiddo's ever got up. We bought him a store full of toys, and we had to get him the miniature tennis balls.

I started tossing his little ball across the living room and say "Get the ball Duke, get the ball!" and he would get it! Then I would say "Bring it to Momma!" and most of the time, be brought it back to me! First of all, I have never taught a dog anything, so if it does something for me, then it must be instinct!

We've had Duke for less than a week and fell in love with him immediately. He rides in the car with us, sleeps peacefully in his crate (most of the time) and hasn't been to terrible with accidents considering his age. He's almost 8 weeks.

The boys want him to sleep with them (on their top bunks!) so bad they can't stand it. Aven loves to play with him. He runs and giggles as Duke chases after him. When the puppy sniffs Aven's toes, he belly laughs so hard he can hardly breathe! It's hysterical!

We think Duke's favorite new family member is the teddy bear that he gave his heart to. Well, that wasn't exactly his heart he gave to it, but he 'loves' it just the same! Our last dog was female so we didn't have to deal with the male 'instinct' and I'm not liking it at all. While he hasn't 'enjoyed' anything but the bear, I can just see him jumping visitors legs in the future! I know he is bound to do it in front of the boys very soon. At least we had kittens recently so we have covered a little on the subject of animal mating. Maybe it will encourage them to keep all their stuffed toys off the floor! That's one way to get their room clean I guess.

You Are Gonna Think I'm Crazy

I'm just warnin' ya now! If you are not a follower of Christ, you are going to write me off as a loon in a few minutes. If you are a Christ follower you may still think I am a little off my rocker. I read a couple of blogs lately that I thought were wonderful! Not only full of truth, but awesome in imagery. A dear friend of mine has been going through a lot lately with some painful health problems. I gave her a link to these blogs because I thought they might speak to her in a similar way. Little did I know that it would turn around into her ministering to me in a huge way with her incredible faith while she is in 'deep water' (more on this below).

The first one I read was by Cindy Beall called I Think I’ve Figured Out Grace. In that post, she quotes a book of Max Lucado called Grip of Grace. "If God did nothing more than save us from hell, could anyone complain?" Wow, that just smacked me right in the face. It's very true, if we get nothing from the Lord but a free trip to Heaven, isn't that worth celebrating? When talking to my friend about her situation and His Grace, I brought up the song "Your Grace Is Enough." It means more to me now, just reading what I already knew, put to me in a different way. We are but a blip on a screen here on earth, but His grace for our eternity, now that is huge!

The second is called The Deep Water by Kim Heinecke . It's hard to figure out where to start with how this post effected me. I read it, it was beautiful. I really enjoyed it, I shared it. And that was it right? Yeah, no. If you've spent much time with me or read some of my previous post like Frequent Oblivion, then you know I am much of the time unaware of so many things. I don't read situations well, I don't see things coming and I don't anticipate what others see as the obvious. I don't think I'm dense, I just more time in the here and now than trying to figure out the symbolism behind things. I tend to believe that things are the way they seem and that what people say is what they mean. Too bad that's not always true. This is why God has to knock me clean off my chair sometimes to get my attention to something that he has put in front of me ten times in less obvious manners. It's not deliberate disobedience, just me going about my way, taking life in like at face value and not seeing somethings. Sometimes I just need giant billboards telling me what to do. I do not have the gift of discernment like my son.

A week ago last Friday night I got ready to meet my sister at WalMart for a midnight shopping trip. I hop in my van and pull down the driveway. The radio is on KLOVE and I can't remember what song was ending. I thought to myself how much I had been thinking about Your Grace Is Enough and how cool it would be if it were to be the next song. Guess what? No, but really, out of all the songs that KLOVE plays, there is only one that I needed to hear. Only one that I wanted to hear. Only one that He wanted to play for me. Your radio on the same station may have been playing a totally different tune. I don't believe in coincidence, but providence. That may sound silly to some, but for me, it's just how it is.

As I pull out of the driveway and as Your Grace is Enough fills up my van, I am moved to tears. I can't say that I am going through horrible trials, I'm not homeless. I'm not hungry. I'm not alone. I'm not poor. I'm not sick. My kids are healthy. My husband is wonderful. My home is filled with 'stuff.' I have a big yard. I have a car. We are 'fat' rich. My husband has a car. We have electricity and water and money to pay our bills. Sometimes we are placed in situations where it's very easy believe that His grace is all we need. Other times, when things are going wonderfully, it's easy to forget about how big the gift of His grace really is. Maybe you're not guilty of taking His greatest gift for granted, by I know I have been. Have you?

The Lord spoke to my spirit as I drove down the road. Less than a 1/2 mile from home, I was to pull over. I pulled over into a little drive that I never knew excited. Mind you, it was midnight, so pitch black out where I live. In front of me was a small field, full of foliage. There was a clearing and in the middle stood a tree. I heard the Lord tell me to get out of the car and I sat there and argued with Him for the second half of the song. "But if I get out, I won't be able to hear the song." And I added, "Why do I need to get out of the car?" and He replied (not audibly) "Because I said so." Okay, point taken, getting out of the car... I got out of the car and again felt the Lord speak to my spirit to enter the clearing and walk around the tree. I responded with "WHAT?"

In my head, I instantly played 20 different scenarios of what could happen to me should I go for a stroll around this tree, in the middle of a dark field, in the middle of the country, in the middle of the night. Looking out at the tree I start to hype myself up. I can do this. The clearing looks fairly clear of large limbs, critters, or dead bodies. The grass appears to be about calf high. I can do this.

I walk off of the pavement and into the field. Thankfully, the lights of my van were shinning outward, giving me some light to see by. About four or five steps forward and the grass is up to my thighs and then almost to my waist. My heart is pounding, as what I saw was not what not what this was. Had I known from the beginning that the grass was so deep, I would likely not have entered the field. For a brief moment, I glanced to my right. The picture was a beautiful image of the trees with light shinning up through them from behind me. Looking back at my destination, I realized that I was at the furthest point from my van and I felt panic creeping up on me.

It then occurred to me that if I was at the half way point then, I was half way back to the van. Now the light it shinning on me and I have to look down at the grass and weeds in my path so not to be blinded by the light. I remember saying, out loud, "This crazy, why am I doing this?" and then I started to laugh and said "Because you told me to. Because you told me to. Because you told me to." My dad once got in trouble in school and had to right a several hundred word paper on why he had to right the paper. He filled up several sheets with "Because you told me to. Because you told me to. Because you told me to." I guess I am my father's daughter!

Now I am back at the van, brushing off some of the leaves and twigs that came with me. After I am sure that there are no ticks crawling up my pant legs, I get back in the van. I back out and again, head towards WalMart. I start to think about the significance of my trip around the tree. As I mentioned before, I am not always good at reading between the lines. I think about my best friend Dawn. She's very intuitive and insightful and she's knows her way all over the OKC metro area! I always like to take her with me when I'm heading into unfamiliar territory. I don't need a Tom Tom, I have something better, my Dawn Dawn. As I am thinking about the person who helps me with directions, I realize I am missing my turn. I quickly switch lanes and take my turn. Rolling my eyes at myself, I realize that I didn't miss my turn, I took an earlier one...one that will take me to WalMart just the same, but not the way I had planned. I did get to WalMart and to shop with my sister. We made a silly balloon "Mermaid Queen" and had a good time visiting. I didn't share this story with her then, as I am sure she would have raised an eyebrow at me.

I know that there is 'more than meets the eye' in this story. I want to hear your insightfullness. I want to hear your 'between the lines' comments. What in this story reminds you of a scripture or story in the bible? Have you had similar experiences? Has God had you do things that seemed silly or something you didn't understand? Please share. Comment here, or if it's long, blog about it and comment here to leave me your link.

Sweet Words

My Dan Dan is an amazingly sweet little boy. He loves to lay in my lap and love on me and let me hug him. He even lets me hold him close and snuggle him like a baby. This is great because my 'baby' is in the "I can walk now, so don't even think about holding me like a baby" stage.

This morning Danny wanted a shirt on so we venture into my closet to grab him an outfit. We are perched on my bed together and I get him all dressed. He tackles me and I wrestle him into my lap where he lays down. We snuggle and talk for a few minutes. Then he sweetly puts his hand on his heart and moves him head in this way that suggests what is about to say is very important and sincere. He smiles at me and says "Mom" -dramatic pause- "This my shirt."

Uh Huh.

Here we go with Vertigo!

Boy did I wake up dizzy yesterday! It's a shame that the world doesn't just stop when mommies are down. Knowing that, I gathered my dizzy self up, and prepared to take on the day! With the room spinning in all directions, I managed to dress not only myself but also my youngest two children. Driving was not so bad, walking was another story all together. I had to run into the store to buy some cat litter, not optional, cat litter is something you NEVER want to run low on!

As I walk through the store I realize that I looked like I had a 6 pk for lunch when I should have had a V-8. I almost fell twice and talking on the phone added a whole new dimension of dizziness to the game. When you are pushing a little one in a cart, you need your hands to push and keep little guy happy, so what do you do if you don't have your blue tooth? You put the phone up to your ear and tilt your head sideways to hold the phone with your shoulder. Or, if you feel like you just got off a Gravitron ride at the fair, you don't. Because when you tilt your head ever so slightly to the side, the room starts to rocket around in circles while you look for something without wheels to hold on to. Then people start to look at you like you are drunk and you wonder if they are going to follow you out to your car and jot down your tag number.

After my trip into the store, I cancelled all scheduled errands and headed home. Thankfully my oldest three boys were with my sis in law. I knew that my head needed to visit my pillow in order for my world to be righted, so to speak. Getting home, I stumble into the house urging Aven to follow me. He meanders his way to the door, still making an ugly face at me for not carrying him from the car to the house. Oh, forgive me, sweet, selfish little one, for not wanting to smack your beautiful head on the door jam as I fall into the house while it spins around.

I put Aven to bed for his nap, and headed to my room for one of my own. Getting on the bed and rearranging the pillows proved to be much more difficult than expected. As I laid on my bed, the room picked up speed. Suddenly I remembered a trick that a life long friend of mine let me in on. She once told me this for when you come home completely smashed and try to hit the sack. She said when you start to feel that "Stop the room, I wanna get off!" feeling, that there is away to keep the room from spinning....put one leg off the bed, touching the floor. Not being a drinker myself, I had never used this tidbit of info, until yesterday. Already in bed and on my back, I did not dare rearrange myself and send the room into a faster spin. Instead of my leg, I reached out and grabbed a nightstand with one hand and it helped! The room slowed significantly and I was able to nap!

Today was much better, still a bit dizzy, but I can talk and walk like a sober person and my room is no longer spinning. Now, I just gotta clean up all this laundry that was tossed on the floor by centrifugal force.

Wooo Hoooo!

I am so excited! My sister in law and my niece have arrived from California! I am so glad that they are here. Since last time we saw each other wasn't exactly fun, I have been looking forward to June for quite some time. My family and I picked Tracie and Miranda up at the airport last night.

While I have been looking forward to them coming, I have also been a bit nervous. Why? You ask.... well, I have NOT been looking forward to when they leave. I have been almost fearful of their arrival because I know it will put them closer to the flight back home. They haven't purchased their tickets home yet. Tracie plans to stay about a month. I plan for her to stay about 2. I mean really, what is more important that chillin' out all summer with me?! I would really prefer to have them just move here permanently but they live with Tracie's grandpa, who is certain he can just not make it without her!

For Father's Day we are taking them to Enid so that Miranda can visit the grave sites of her dad and Papa. Then we will go to a big family picnic and visit with lots of relatives we don't see very often. It will be nice to see everyone for a holiday instead of a funeral. I hope that everyone has a wonderful Father's Day!

Prime Rhyme Time

My husband is again away
For what seems like all day
It's been all work and no play
But what can I really say

He pays all the bills
So we could get new wheels
I get the deals
And make all the meals

While he's away, we miss him
I can't wait to kiss him ; )
While giving the yard a trim
I got whacked with a limb

I also got a poison rash
It happened in a windy flash
Mowing and avoiding trash
And trees to avoid a crash

Little Stephen was on the back
Helping me stay on track
It was getting dark, time to hit the sack
Mowing job looked like it was done by a hack

While he was hanging on the rear
He looked out and spotted a deer
It lingered by us very near
With the noisy mower, it had no fear

Maybe it was deaf or something
Or perhaps afraid of nearly nothing
But a joy to mowing it did bring
More beautiful than this linguistic string

The other day I saw a snake
That will make my best friend shake
But probably not scare her son Jake
Oh, it was out in a field for goodness sake!

We do, after all, live out by the lake
And quite a walk you'd have to take
To kill it with a shovel, not a rake
And snake skin nothing you could make

For a snake it was rather small
And it certainly wasn't tall
Towards the fence it did crawl
I think it wore diamonds, as I recall...

So now Dawn is probably sweating bullets
And it may even seem she's developed Tourette's
She thought we should get a bunch of pullets
Will she again darken my doorstep with her silhouette?

That last one was rather hard
Talking about our crazy barnyard
Easier to rhyme with a word like card
And throw in a gross word like 'lard'

Lard is gross, you have to admit
Make me eat it and I'll throw a fit
I'd much rather eat a banana split
Then I will happily eat every bit

After all, I do like sweets
I'm all about the chocolate treats!
My husband, he prefers BBQ meats
But all in all, we like GOOD EATS!

We didn't get this size by eating light
Some foods are just a pure delight
Others foods are just 'alright'
Maybe we should start a diet tonight...(yeah right!)

I think it's time to go to bed
If I can sleep when I lay down my head
And snuggle up under my comfy bed spread
I may lie awake waiting for that man I wed.

Though it may sound like some old cliche
I don't sleep well when he's away
That is much to my dismay
So I will spend some time with God and pray

No One Knows Like His Nose Knows!

Right on the nose! That's where the cup landed when it slipped out of my hand with Aven underneath me eagerly awaiting a cup of milk. Thankfully it was empty. Even so, we had a little bloody nose to deal with. It did seem to bleed for quite a while, but not a terribly large amount.

Next come boogers. I hate boogers. I cannot stand for boogers to be peeking out of my kids noses. I attack! Aven hates it and usually flails about anytime I wipe his nose. After having a bloody nose, he had lots of little bloody boogers. I had to be very gentle about removing any boogers so that I did not restart the flow.

Several days later he and I were playing together in the kitchen. I toss him up in the air and then swing him down to the ground. I notice a dark shadow up his nose, same side that was bloody days earlier. I saw what I suspected was the last of the 'bloody boogers.' I so wanted to get it out! It wasn't really peeking out, so I left it alone not wanting to start the whole process over again.

Fast forward two days to Memorial Day. It was almost an instant replay of the playtime days earlier. I tossed him up over my head and then gave him a ride down to the floor and laid him on the rug. He was laughing and when he tilted his head back while I tickled him, I saw it! It was not a bloody booger, it was something blue! "STEPHEN!" I yelled to my husband. "I need you!" Click on the picture and when you see it full size you can see the little blue thing!

I grabbed the tweezers and we held him down to investigate. It appeared that he had shoved a broken off tip of a crayon up his right nostril. I tried to retrieve it without victory. I called my best friend and asked if she could keep the other three kiddo's while we visited the emergency room. When I told my husband we could take them to her house he said "Uh, I don't want to go to the emergency room. I'll stay here with the boys!" My sweet husband is a big hypochondriac. Don't worry, he knows it. He admits it. I called my best friend, Dawn, back, explained and asked if she would go. Thankfully, she accepted. We don't get to spend a lot of time together, so we take what we can get!

Being Memorial Day, the waiting room at the ER was full of folks who had injured themselves in a variety of ways. There was also lots of sick folks around. It's a good thing my husband didn't go with me. If he had, he would certainly have left there with a broken ankle, heart condition, badly cut hand, and the stomach flu. He may have also contracted all sorts of lovely diseases from the germy waiting room. The wait was long. Very long. Like the hour that we sat there, one, possibly two people where taken back. My sweet friend got on the horn and found a minor emergency center that was open. This was during the day and most of them don't open until evening.

Dawn wheeled Aven in his stroller out to the car why I waited to check out with the triage nurse. She told me that the first thing they would have me try when they took us back, would be for me to try and dislodge it. She said that when I get out to the car I should hold the empty nostril shut and blow forcefully into his mouth. Wha?!!! I ask if I could hurt him doing that and she assured me that all would be fine. As I walked through the parking lot toward my car, I hollered at Dawn not to buckle Aven in yet.

I opened the back door of the Yukon and stood the little guy up back there. Dawn stood behind me and held his arms down while I held one nostril shut and blew into his mouth. It did a great job of making him very angry and not so great a job at dislodging anything but a few boogers. I decided to try again, this time with a little more umph. I gave it another go and this time I dislodged not the little blue thing, but lots of snot and boogers! I had some of the most disgusting tasting stuff in my mouth! I was trying not to gag! Since this attempt failed, we headed to the minor emergency center.

I told Dawn on the way that I though maybe someone who didn't love him as much as I did would be able to get it out with tweezers. My husband called for an update and said that he thought someone that wouldn't be as gentle could probably get it out! Great minds think alike!

We only had to wait about half an hour before we were taken back to see the doc. He came in and said "What do we have here? Something up the nose huh?" I laid him down on the table and the ole' doc had that sucker out in less than 10 seconds. He held up the blue thingy and said "Well, it's not a crayon. Whatever it is, it doesn't belong up there" and with that he tossed it in the trash can! Aaaaahhhh, I needed that! As soon as the doc finished talking, he and the nurse walked out. Before I could say anything, Dawn has digging in the trash to find the blue thingy. Luckily it landed on top, in one of those papers that they tear off the bed after each patient. Unable to identify it, I slathered it with the antimicrobial wash from the wall dispenser and promptly shoved it my purse.

Aven fell asleep on the way home. I probably would have too! When we got home and I pulled out my little napkin wrapped blue thingy to ask the family for their help figuring out what it was. I didn't have it out for 3 seconds before Randon looked over and said "Oh, that's a part from my boat." A couple of weeks ago, I let Randon paint and assemble one of those little woodworking kits from the craft store. Evidently the little smoke stack will slide right up your nose and the boat looks just as good without it's smoke stack.

What I learned from this:
1. That little warning on boxes that read "Not For Children Under Three" isn't just for choking hazards.
2. The cup that caused the bloody nose likely caused it because there was a foreign object up there already. Even good moms fail to notice what would seem like the obvious!
3. You can have something up your nose for almost a week without anyone noticing and with minimal whining.
4. People do stupid things on Memorial Day, avoid hospitals.
5. Painted wood will lose some of it's paint if smothered in snot for a time.
6. Babies do not like tweezers anywhere near their faces.
7. It takes a lot of force to blow snot and boogers out of someones face and onto your own.
8. Snot, boogers, tears and saliva taste really nasty together, and probably separately as well.
9. When you are 19 months old, Live and Learn does not really apply. Aven still attempts to shove something up his nose almost daily.
10. You can shove about 5 pieces of macaroni and cheese up your nose in the time it takes your mom to hand your brothers their dinner plates.

Castle On A Cloud

Try to imagine falling asleep as visiting your very own Castle on a Cloud. You can see it in the distance and you are drifting nearer and nearer. My castle is gray. The comfiest of colors! A gray t-shirt and pair of sweats just makes me want to curl up on the couch with my kids and some books. Then there would have to be some pink somewhere, so my castle has bright pink flags atop each tower. Lets make it have pink curtains flowing out of any open windows too. My two favorite colors complimenting each other perfectly in my very own sanctuary of rejuvenation!

Sometimes my castle sees to float in the wrong direction, or I'm floating in the wrong direction. Either way, I want to get to my castle and I can't seem to get there! Sometimes I can get to it, but I can't get in! My castle has become this seemingly impenetrable fortress. As I struggle to infiltrate, the army of wakefulness taunts me. Thoughts, worries, to do lists, memories, questions and images are all part of this army. It's a powerful army and sometimes for hours it will push me back, and keep me away from my castle.

For a time, I was only allowed a visit to my castle every other night. After a while, I stopped trying to gain access on my 'No Sleep Nights.' I had become convinced that my castle was to far away. Then, on my 'Sleep Nights,' I would clamor to my castle! The army is unable to fight 36 hours of exhaustion catapulting it's way over the castle walls, landing deep inside.

After an evening of fellowship and prayer with some girlfriends, I regained my Draw Bridge Opener and was welcomed into my beautiful gray and pink castle every night. The army was held at bay and my sleep was restored.

Then I faltered. I stopped praying for it, because I was already getting it. Why keep asking for sleep when I already had it. Cuz it didn't occur to me to think that I was given access to my castle because I was asking for it! I know He has purpose in my castle free nights. Maybe it's so I will spend more time with Him, undistracted. Perhaps it's to remind me that all things are possible if I rely on Him and sometimes we need help just climbing up to a Castle on a Cloud.

Fire One!

It was bound to happen, and yesterday it did. Do we really expect to live quiet, destruction free lives with four boys around here? Certainly not. Years ago my husband told me that our boys were getting to an age when they will do some dumb stuff, because we never said specifically not to do that one dumb thing, or this one dumb thing. Not long after this conversation, my son is outside shooting his BB gun. He comes back in with a huge grin and looks very prideful. He says "Mom, you know that light, the one outside your bedroom? The one you never use. I shot it out!" Great, chalk that up to one of those dumb things that I failed to specifically mention not to do.

There are many more dumb things that they seem to do, even when they are specifically told not to. They may be told not to for a variety of reasons. Maybe because it's dangerous, maybe because it annoys me, maybe just 'cuz I said so.' Why do they push these limits? Perhaps it's rebellion, forgetfulness, or it could be that they didn't believe us when we said the pop will explode all over you if you open after it came flying through the air from one brother to another.

The first thing you teach about gun safetly is that you always assume it's loaded. So, why is it that my oldest son pulled the trigger of his BB gun while he was in the living room? He thought it wasn't loaded and he thought it was on safety! Well, it was loaded, and it was not on safety! Thankfully, the BB did not hit a child. We are even grateful that it didn't strike our ugly daddy cat. I am also thankful that when the BB shattered the front door, the glass stayed in place (until we were ready!) rather than burst right then and go all over the entryway.

So Fun!

We bought our son, Stephen (9), a Slingshot for his birthday last year. This is a waterslide, not the weapon, although we have those too! Our yard was flooded for most of last summer so we never got the chance to use it. A few days ago, the boys put the Little Tykes yellow slide in front of an air mattress and made their own waterslide/slip-n-slide. They wanted something to make the slide a little longer. I looked for another air mattress and then thought "Um, Duh! Get the Slingshot out of the attic!" After wrestling that huge box half way down the attic steps, I opted to risk damage to the product and avoid damage to my back, and tossed it the rest of the way to the ground. We both came out fine, thank you very much. The big boys had a great time! Daniel declined to participate and when I tried to assist him in sliding, he freaked and ran in the house! Maybe he remembers when he was only 1 and I slung him down the slip-n-slide at 100 mph, but he liked it then!

Today some of our friends came out to play with us. We had about a dozen kiddo's in line to take a ride on the Slingshot. The little ones all took a running go at it and just stopped once they landed on the slide! It took them a few tries to figure out how to get going. My friend Stef was helping her 3 year old by tossing him a bit. One time she was busy with baby so I told him I would toss him. I laid him across my arms like he was flying and gave him a good flingin.' Whoooosh! He was gone! He was so light that a little goes a long way! Next time it was his turn, Stef was ready to help him again and he said "I want her to do it!" as he pointed at me. I gave him another go and then started flinging some of the other little ones down the slide. I had so much fun! I think they did too!

Stef's daughter was by far the most fun to throw! She would lay across my arms and stiffen her legs. I grabbed her leg with my left hand and after throwing her on, I would follow through pushing her leg. This gave her added speed! She flew down that thing so fast she kept going clean off the other end! I was laughing so hard! She must have been having fun because she would get up and run back over to me. Stef was gathering kiddo's to leave while I was steadily tossing her daughter down the slide. She looked at me, as I was laughing like crazy, and said "Are you having more fun than the kids?" I may have been! It just cracked me up! As Stef headed to the car and kids were asking "One more time Mom?" I joined in. "One more time Mom!" I can't wait to throw around some more kiddo's!

"You Pitty!"

I found this in my email today. It was from when Stephen was barely 2.

Today I had the best day! My Stephen came and sat in front of me while we talked and swapped toys. Then he leaned over and put his hands on both my cheeks and rubbed and patted for a moment. Then he smiled and said "You pitty." I looked at him not sure if that's what he had said so I asked "You think I'm pretty?" He laughed and touched my cheeks again and said "Pitty." Then he got up into my lap, head on one leg, his legs hanging off the other side. He had one finger in his mouth bouncing his feet up and down while we tickled and laughed with each other. Then he held my face again and said "You bootyful." Again, I was amazed, as I didn't even know he knew that word, and said "You think Mom's beautiful?" He laughed, stuck that one finger back in his mouth, bounced his feet some more and said "Mom bootyful." What a wonderful day!

Now it's my Dan Dan (3) that thinks I'm beautiful, but only if my hair is down! Anytime I have a ponytail or have my hair in a clip, which is almost always, we wants it out. If I happen to be sitting at his level and he walks behind me, he will grab the ponytail holder and pull it all the way out. "I make you pitty Momma!" he says as he flings my hair around so that it's a lovely mess!

It's funny how each of the boys have had their own little hang ups. Randon could not stand it if I wore lipstick or fingernail polish. He would always say "That's not my Momma." Not that he thought it wasn't me, but that wasn't typical of his momma. Once, for our anniversary, I painted my nails red to match my outfit. Randon was upset about it. He wanted it off. It irritated him so much so that he got up late that night and was still talking about it. I got out the nail polish remover and he helped me take it off! I haven't worn nail polish since then!

Since I'm on the subject of my boys, I have to mention how grown up my Stephen is getting to be! You know, the one that was just a toddler three paragraphs ago, he's nine now, uhhgghhh! We have been meaning to sign him for camp for the last couple of weeks, but things just kept happening that got in the way. A few nights ago, I let him stay up and have a 'late night' with me. We talked and played a few video games together. I told him that we hadn't signed him up yet and that the spots might be gone. He astounded me with his answer. He said "That's okay Mom, if I don't get to go, there must be a reason that I need to be here. Like something important that I need to be here for." What? How old are you? I think I looked at him like he was Donald Duck or something. I just didn't expect that. Just to clarify, I asked "So your saying that if you don't get to go to camp, it's because God wants you to be here for some reason?" He nodded and replied "Yeah, there might be something more important for me to be here for." We finally got him signed up and he's on the waiting list. I told him that and he said "So, unless someone decides not to go, I won't go right?" I nodded. "Well, then I probably won't be going, because camp is fun and no one is going to want to cancel!" Even though he had every right to be frustrated or disappointed, he was cheerful.

I need it to work this way!

In every car that I have owned with electric windows there has been this little feature that rolls the window down all the way when you press the button twice or all the way down. That was a long sentence! Anyway, it's great because when you pull up at the drive-thru, you just punch the thing and down in goes. Or, if you car has 'personality,' like our Yukon, you use this feature to roll the window down so that you can reach outside and open your own door because the inside handle is broken...again. So why is this feature only on the way down?! I go through the drive-thru, the lady hands we three tacos and a large Dr. Pepper. As I drive away, I want a drink of my Dr. Pepper!! Driving round the curve, I am trying to de-paper a straw and stick it in the precut straw hole in the lid, while holding down the button to roll the window up! I have to do this quick so that none of the flying bugs get into my car! Why can't the button work the same way on the way up as it does on the way down! I need it work this way! Anyone else have any stupid issues like this!

Clothes of Yesterday

My mother has been asking me to take my brother and dad's stuff from her house for over a couple of months. I haven't been able to get there with a pickup, or empty van to do it. She hasn't had the opportunity to load it up in her truck and bring it to me. She lives in Enid, I in Edmond. She wants it out of her sight, it's too painful, and it's filling up half of her living room. On Mother's Day we went to see her and I grabbed a couple of bags that I could fit in the back of the Yukon and brought them home. It didn't occur to either one of us to throw everything in the back of my brother in laws pickup when we were all there and we were equipped with several able bodied teenagers. So I just got the couple that I grabbed on the way out that day. I put them in my garage. I don't know why I even wanted them, I am just not ready to have someone just take them.

Today, while the kids were playing in the sandbox, I saw one of the bags and decide to look through it. It was clothes of my brothers. My brother dressed one of three ways, really snazzy with very nice clothes, tshirts and holey jeans for work, or sweats and tshirts for comfort near bedtime. I pulled out several nice jeans, Fubu and Levi and a few nice shirts like Tommy and Adidas. It was much harder than I had anticipated. Not as difficult as the autopsy report, but tough just the same. I lost my breath, felt dizzy and sick and even started seeing spots as the pressure in my head mounted. I couldn't even cry, I could barely breathe. Then I found this raggedy old Budweiser tshirt (grey, my favorite color) that was splattered with glue stains. At this, I melted and started to sob. Danny, as well as my father, were both carpet layers or 'floor technicians' and used alot of carpet glue. It was just a standard hallmark of either of them. Finding that stain on someone else's clothes, you would wonder what that funny color and texture is.
I realized how easily people can question God's goodness in such times. How easy it could be for the enemy to get a foothold in especially when you want to ask "Why?". I set in my driveway, clutching this old shirt and through tears and pain and joy I cried out to the Lord "Thank You Jesus! Thank You! Twelve People, that's why!" I am certain that if minions of the evil one were around, they were angry, or at the very least perplexed! (See earlier post called The Best Part!!!!!!!!!! below ).

I do have to part with these clothes and the rest of stuff that will following from both my dad and brother's belongings. But I don't have to part with all of it, and I don't have to do it today. I don't want to toss it in a donation dumpster to be sold really cheap. I don't want it ebayed for top dollar either. I want to keep a few things, maybe a few more. I dunno... but what's left, I think I want to give it to someone that really needs it. Not wants but really needs it. Because that's what my brother would do. He literally gave the shirt off his back before. And his coat too. My sisters and I were talking about Danny and we each realized that when we would see him, he would always have stuff to give us. One day he started to tell me about some of this stuff. "Oh I got a great deal on these shirts for your boys so I grabbed em!" or "Devin gets a discount and bought this really cheap so if will use it, you can have it!" So now, I want to share that giving spirit with his clothes. It seems so silly, but if you've been through it, you know it's not so silly, it's important, as least for me. So I do want to part with this clothes, but when I am ready.

A Little Game I Like To Call....SHAVE THE CAT!!!

Have you ever shaved a cat? I mean a real, live, unmedicated feline? Well, I have!! And, it's not all it's cracked up to be. What I really mean is that it's not really as exciting as one might think.

You see, we have this cat, okay we have four cats (two are babies, so cute!!) but anyway, this one cat, he's the daddy cat. His name is Jacket and he is black and white. Jacket is a long haired, rag doll cat, which means he's really floppy when you pick him up. He's also a mess!!!! Since we live on a fairly large lot, he takes advantage of it. He reigns as far as he's concerned, at least when Rocky (the raccoon) isn't visiting. Jacket runs through the fields, he rolls in the grass, he climbs tall trees and eats june bugs. I am very grateful for the june bug eating. Now if only I can train him to get the crickets..... Oh, okay, back to shaving the cat. Jacket needs his tick and flea medicine put on his back, but he's got a TON of hair. He's shedding right now, so he's getting these little matted balls of loose hair and burs. It's just gross. And he looks awful. So I get this idea....let's shave him!! Not like bald, but really close, so we can see if he has any ticks, get them off, get his tube of tick and flea stuff on. I have my hubby's pair of electric head shavers, problem solved right?! Wrong. My husband will just die when he reads this (sorry Honey!).

So we trap the poor, not so defenseless cat and prepare for the worst. I figured there would be a lot of hissing and kicking and scratching going on. I was prepared to snatch him by the nape of the neck and go to town. With a 1/2" guard on the shavers I turn it on. Nothing happens. Crap, they are broke. Just a bit of noise, no movement. I run back inside, grab the oil and head back out to the 'scene.' Of course I'm doing this outside, this cat is very hairy! Pop off the oil bottle cap and tada...no oil. Dry as a bone. Great. My best friend happens to be on the phone with me and tells me that when she ran out, she used vegetable oil. I have some of that!! What do ya know, as soon as the oil meet the blades they zinged to life! Now, back to the cat.

As I start to put the shavers on Jacket, he wiggles, but does not freak out like I expected. The shavers however, are terrified of this mess and experience performance anxiety. I raked the shavers over the fur and it would grab some. My son would grab if off and I would do another rake. My son said it was like 'mowing the cat.' Indeed it was, but it was like the mower was on the highest setting and only giving the 'yard' a trim, or a thinning. Jacket seemed to think that he was getting groomed with a vibrating brush. For the most part, he lay back and let me thin out his mangy mop.

After about 20 to 30 minutes of not really shaving the cat, my back was killing me. So we decided to go for the tail and call it a day. Jacket was not about to stand for this vibrating brush thing to go after his tail. So when he donned his claws and hissed at us both, we honored his wishes and let him go. Having been 'injured' (sliced my mad cat claw) by a cat about 10 years ago during a 'bath' fiasco, I give up easy! The shavers cleaned up nicely and appear to have never touched the cat. So if my husband doesn't read this blog, and none of my children tattle, he will never know. Yeah, like that will happen!

Far from bald, or even spikey haired, he looks good! No more mats, save his tail and no more burs. He doesn't even look like he was shaved. He just looks like he was given a nice brushing. I don't think the story would be the same if we were trying to shave a cat that wasn't used to being tortured by toddlers. So if you choose to shave your cat, well, good luck.

"Bobbi, Grief is Messy!"

That is what one sweet friend of mine reminded me today. It is messy, and while my house is frequently messy, I don't like my emotions to be. It seems as though I don't have to be rock for my mom every minute and I am trying to allow myself to grieve. I fight crying all the time. I don't want to do it. It makes my head hurt, my eyes red and it makes me feel vulnerable. I certainly don't like to cry around real, live people!!

Yesterday my sister in law received the autopsy report and she scanned it in and emailed it to me. I had to read it word for word, cover to cover. Oh, my, was it ever painful! The only moments I have had that hard were when I was told he was dead. Not the planning, not the funeral, not even the days after. But going through the autopsy was hard. I didn't expect that. When my sister called me to tell me that Tracie received it, I started to tremble. I had shaky hands like I hadn't eaten all day or something. I hadn't even seen it yet. Then I found it in my email and read it, reread it and looked up several words that I didn't have a clue what they meant.

What the funny thing (funny odd, not funny haha) is that the results were exactly what I expected. There weren't any surprises. So why then did it hit me like a ton of bricks flying through the air? I cried with my husband and finally found sleep. Today has not been a stroll in the park. Lots to do with Baskets of Blessings ( http://www.letsgetup.org/). I ran in and out of town 3 times, and one of those times I went up and down my driveway 3 times to run back in the house 3 times to get stuff I forgot, 3 times! I think I may have been preoccupied...!

We went to a birthday party and everyone asked me if I was okay. I asked my husband if I just an open book or what and he said that when something is weighing on my heart that I lack a certain Bobbi-ness that people are used to. What? Okay, so everyone asked me if I was okay, and I really just couldn't even slap on a smile and lie. One of the girls even asked me if I needed to cry and I said "Yes!" Or maybe I just nodded my head, I don't know, I was to busy crying!

My sister called while we were at the party and she told me about calling our sister in law. I told her that I hadn't called her, because I just couldn't. She did talk to her and Tracie said that when she received the report she called the medical examiner because she had some questions. Renda relayed that the M.E. told her that of the two drugs in his system, alprazolam (Xanax) and methadone, neither of them were of lethal doses. They were only fatal because they were together. This was worse than ripping the scab off of a wound, it was more like pouring salt into it. I started to cry all over again. Why does all of this bother me more than seeing him dead or holding his ashes? All I can gather is that it's done now. There isn't anything more to anticipate. Nothing more to deal with, no papers to sign or plots to choose. It's final and it sucks. The enemy is trying to pull that "If only" crap with me. I refuse to fall for it. Danny was meant to go, when he went. I prayed a prayer, many prayers during worship and through lots of tears, prayers of thanks that the Lord took him when he did. The last months and weeks of his life had caused so much pain for everyone around him, and mostly for him. A good friend of mine told me about losing her brother. She said that he was not an over comer and it was as if the Lord finally said "That's enough son, stop this nonsense and come home." That is exactly how I feel about this. The details of the amounts of drugs are just details from the enemy to promote guilt and questioning. Our pastor has said before that 'the devil is in the details' and I know he's right.

As I was driving home after the party I began to think about Danny's life and his death. There was a time last year when we worried about him and cancer. I told him I would let someone saw me in half to save him. I thought about all the people in my life that I am willing to die for. Then I thought about if I would trade my life for Danny's. A bigger picture started to be painted in me as I drove on. The Lord asked me 'What would make a bigger difference for the Kingdom?' I thought about that. My life, his life, his death. It became clear all over again that his death was for a higher purpose. I have never led anyone to Christ personally. But at my brother's funeral, 12 people came into the Family of God! When I talked about this to my husband he said "It's so much bigger when you think of the differences that we may make in someones life, and the difference he made for their eternity." He's so wise! I knew I married him for more than his amazing smile! I heard a song the other day and instantly fell in love with it. It's my new theme song. Something Heavenly by Sanctus Real ( http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZZayut9i45M

All in all, this still stinks. Grieving is messy and I don't know how to do it. I just know I can't do it without Him. Thank you all for your prayers and loving words. I can't tell you what it means to me that so many people ask me how I am, not out of obligation, but out of love. And they really mean it, they don't want me to say 'Fine' with a fake smile, they want me to be honest and get messy if I need to. Thank you guys!

A Midnight Birth

Our little black lady cat, Midnight, came to be 'with kitties.' We were expecting them this weekend. Yes, I actually looked up a feline gestational calendar and had it pinpointed within 48 hours or the big event. Leaving for the conference this Friday morning, I knew I would be gone when she had the kittens. This troubled me, because I had 'doula-ed' our last momma cat when she had her babies. She actually woke me up in the night to be with her while she labored. I'm not even kidding. So, I told my husband to watch her closely. To go and love on her and give her comfort and be with her if she went into labor. He looked at me like I had green hair.

I spoke to Stephen just as we arrived back in town. He told me that Midnight had her kittens, but they were dead. He looked outside today and there was a kitten on the porch, and another in their crate. Certain that there were more than two, he set off to look for them. He didn't find any. We figured that the opossum or coons may have taken to them and carried the tiny ones off. I was disheartened. I prayed for life for our baby kitties! I wanted my children to be able to see the tiny, helpless creatures grow into playful bundles of fur!

As I neared home, I had all but forgotten the kitty situation. I was strangely 'okay' about it. I greeted my family and shortly we went outside to play. My husband began to tell me about finding the kittens and how he searched in vain for others. He said "I thought I heard them, so I listened and followed the sound into the woods, but it was just birds." Just as he finished that sentence we heard a little call. Was it a bird? Was it a lost kitty? I started to run for the woods when Stephen yelled "Watch out where you step! There might be one on the ground." He yelled at the perfect moment. I halted where I was and it was the perfect place. We heard it again and then several more times. The tiny sound came from beside me in a lawn mower bag. The kind that attaches to the lawn mower for grass to shoot into. It was laying beside the garage. I knelt down and looked inside and there, snuggled up together were two solid black baby kitties!! They were alive and well! I eagerly scooped them up and made a bowl out of my shirt. They were silenced at once, even though I was not their milk filled mother.

After taking them inside, we made a cozy hole for Momma Midnight and her two little raven beauties. Daddy Jacket is none to happy that his lady and babies are inside while he is alone on the porch. Don't worry about him though, Midnight goes out to cuddle with him every few hours to get a quick break from the kiddos.

The Elect Lady

And Her Holy Discontent - (Part I)

That was the title of the women's conference that I just returned from. It was at Brookhill Ranch in Hot Springs Arkansas. It was an amazing time of prayer, worship and hearing from the Lord.

My sweet friend Christa just had baby number 10 a month and a half ago. She wasn't able to go on this trip so she gave her spot to me! She then got a full scholarship for another friend of ours, Dawn. I knew that it would be an awesome trip, great learning experience and something I would remember forever. Knowing that, you would think I would be more receptive to what the Lord was trying to tell me. Nah, I guess I am not as quick a learner as I thought.

We hadn't been there long when I had my first big Ah Ha moment. The leaders granddaughter, a young mom named Lynley spoke to us briefly about how our dissatisfaction can become bondage. She talked about how for her it was her house and the duties that came with it. Umm, I can check that box! That is me! My house has been in disarray for so long that it has become normal. I hate that it is this way. Yet, it continues to be this way. Uhhh, Duh! Fix it!

Lynley talked about doing dishes and other chores and that it's not just 'doing dishes.' It's serving your family and making your home a comforting, loving place that people WANT to be! I want that! And I can have that! I am now committed to making my house a comforting, loving place that people WANT to be. But it's bigger than that. I can't really explain it. A burden has been lifted even though I have yet to conquer 'the mess.' Will it be easy? Probably not. But most things worth doing aren't a cake walk. Besides, I like brownies better anyhow.

Ummm... What Will They Wear?

I'm going on a retreat this weekend... and I'm a little nervous about being away from home. I'm not worried about sleeping in a strange bed in a strange place with a bunch of what could turn out to be strange women. I'm not worried that my husband can't handle it, he is a Mighty Warrior and it will be a great Warrior Weekend for him and our four boys. I'm not worried about what they will eat. The oldest two can make everyone food, the third child who is three, will not go hungry. He has no problem hopping up on the cabinet and making his own peanut butter sandwich. I'm not sure why he makes less of a mess than the older two but I digress... The baby, now he is a scavenger so he'll eat the trail that the other boys leave behind, or he'll eat the cat food. Either way, he will not starve.

I AM worried about what my family will put on themselves to cover their bodies! Nearly every stitch of cloth in this house is clean. That is something to cheer for because I can't remember if that has EVER happened in our house. But, the clothes are not put away. There are no less than 7 FULL loads of clean laundry in my room, still in their buckets. It's not that I hate folding laundry, though I do, it's just that I've been busy cleaning out closets and getting rid of a TON of stuff. So I do have somewhat of an excuse. Now, I can spend several minutes (per child, okay per person!) digging through these buckets to find everyone a decent, only semi wrinkled outfit that is at least adequate for a brief public appearance. I can't say that my husband can or will do that! What will they wear? Will they wear the same clothes for the three days I will be gone or just swap shirts with each other and call it good?

As I expressed my heartfelt concern to my best friend (who is also going and is worried about much more important stuff like how she will do for a 6 hour car ride, what if we sleep in a unairconditioned screen cabin, what if there are lots of bugs, what the heck will be do without kids for three days...) and she laughed. Yep, she laughed at me. Then she said "Bobbi, they are boys! All they need is some underwear. They ain't gonna leave the house all weekend! If their underwear get dirty, they will flip them inside out and be good for another day or so." So now, I'm not only worried about their inability to find clothing, I'm also disgusted at the prospect of inside out, dirty underwear wandering around my house getting germs everywhere. Granted, I know it was just a joke, but it was alarming none the less, I do have boys after all.

I then expressed my heartfelt concern to my husband and he laughed. Yep, he laughed too. Is this funny to anyone else? I didn't think so! Then he said "Honey, don't worry about that. We will probably be in our underwear all weekend. We won't be going anywhere!" Did my husband and my best friend discuss my psychosis or is the reality that my family will really be home and undressed for 60+ hours? Then he proceeds to calm my fears by telling me that he and the boys may just build a bonfire in the front yard, roast marshmallows and skewer the nearest pig to smoke. Oh, I feel much better now! 5 nearly naked pale face warriors running around with pointy sticks, loaded up on sugar. This is why Xanax was created friends, and I may need some when I come home to something that resembles Lord of The Flies! Surely, they will remain at least partially clothed, fed on sandwiches and frozen pizzas and warmed by the heater not a fire. But just in case, you'd better keep your livestock locked up.

The Best Part!!!!!!!!!!

I can't believe that I left this out! I wasn't that I really left it out, I just changed gears before getting to this. During my dad's service I didn't sit up front with my family. I used the excuse that Stephen needed my help in the back with the computer and sound stuff. Truly, I didn't want to sit up there on the front row on display for everyone. My mom was taken care of, my brother was at her side and her husband on the other. I also had the worlds best best friend and her husband come back and stay with us in the bar area (the building was previously a night club). I needed the comfort of their presence and someone else needed some seats. The music was wonderful and I worshipped! With my arms lifted high and my spirit comforted I prayed. "If just one person comes to you through this, it's all worth it." I prayed that so many times during that first week. Then my brother died. One of the first thoughts I had after 'coming to' was "That's not what I meant! That's not what I meant!" But His ways are higher than my ways. My brother's memorial service was long and beautiful. I didn't spend this service the same. I did 'hide' in the bar area with my husband and best friend. But instead of spending it with my arms outstretched, I spent it comforting my little warrior Randon. We had a special bond with his Uncle Dan and his Papa and he had been having a hard time with all this loss. I did continue the prayer for him to reach just one person. One person, and it would all be worth it!We had the services at the same church were we had my father's. Anew Church in Enid is a network church of LifeChurch.tv ( http://www.anewchurchenid.com/). We opened that church last summer. My brother laid the carpet. Anyway, during his service, the pastor of the church, Marshal Billingslea played a song, announced the eulogy and then did a short mini-sermon after the eulogy and video were over. He gave an alter call and 12, yes twelve, count them, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 people came to Christ! I was with my son at this time and didn't find this out for a couple of hours. I was so excited I could burst. My sister and her husband were also thrilled! Stephen and Jimmy talked about how some people wouldn't have liked the long message at the end but how it was all worth if if just one came to know Him, but there were 12! This wondrous news brought me tears of joy! How the death of someone I love so much could bring others into eternity with Him is amazing. I'm not saying the sting of death is gone, but it sure makes it easier to take it.

Thank you Jesus, It was all worth it.

Snood

Have you ever played Snood? It is such a fun little shareware game! My husband told me about it, and then had to download it for me. It is a mindless clicking game that will steal away several minutes of your computer time, but it's fun! Good thing about the shareware version - There are only a few levels for each difficulty setting. Otherwise, who knows when I would walk away from the pc! http://www.womgames.com/index.php Don't say I didn't warn you!

I went to the moon today...

What an adventure we had today! Danny disappeared for a moment, and I found him perched on the swing in the front yard. He requested that I join him, so I did. Suddenly, we were off to outer space! Swinging, I mean flying high above the earth until we landed on the moon. DanDan gave me a space helmet and space suit and we left the safety of our ship to explore the moon. Almost instantly we found a moon rover! It was bright red, with 4 wheels and 4X4 on the side. Sadly, there was room for only one. Danny jumped into the driver seat and we were off! The pic to the left is of Aven in the moon rover. We found a black and white Moon Cat (below and right) and we chased it in our mommy powered moon rover all over the moon! We also ran into a Moon Randon and it chased us! It was discovered none to soon that the Moon Randon was a friendly creature and did not wish to harm or capture us. About that time the mommy powered moon rover ran out of gas, and we all three headed back to our swing, I mean ship. The Moon Randon came back with us on our rocket ship. After a safe landing back on earth we took off the cumbersome spacesuits and relaxed. We must now head to bed, as we are jet lagged!

Frequent Oblivion

I am frequently oblivious to the work God is going in my life. My phone number for example. The number we have had for the past 2 + years has been a huge part of our life. It once belonged to Mercy Ministries, an outreach that is run by the church we attend. At one time, we would receive up to 40 phone calls a day asking for various forms of assistance. Some we could help, some we could not. This phone number, which was not coincidence, but providence, opened up new areas of ministry for us and took us places we never dreamed we would go. Nor would we have chosen to go.

For many months now, my sweet and wonderful husband has wanted to change our number. Not because of the continued calls, but to go to a new type of service that offered significant savings. This new service (Skype) does not yet have the capability to allow you to take your number with you when you leave your current provider. I was resistant. What about the calls? What about the people!? My husband told me it was the Lord that brought us the people, and even without the phone number, he could continue to do so.

It is just amazing how completely oblivious I can be sometimes. Right about the time of our family losses (see below), the calls just dropped off. There were almost none. Not even one per day. During this season, God removed what took up a lot of our time and emotional energy. I didn't even notice it at first. Granted, I was dealing with other things and my mind was not wondering why the phone wasn't ringing. It wasn't until after the 'dust had settled' so to speak, that I realized that we were no longer receiving calls. It wasn't until a few days ago that I realized what the Lord had done for us. It was a 'duh' moment. I sometimes take for granted the things that He orchestrates. I sometimes fail to give Him the glory for the things that happen to me. It is simply looked at as everyday life rather than the awesomeness that it really is. He is never absent but sometimes it is required of me to 'be still and know that He is God" and that he is right there, laying out everything before me, just as it should be. Thank you, Sweet Jesus, for all of your awesomeness in my life.

A Knights Tale

I found myself in a battle of epic proportions. Two mighty warriors, boasting three swords between them, came after me. I did my best to fend them off. The smaller one attacked first. I knocked one of his weapons free from his grasp effortlessly. He clung tight to the other, for he would not be defeated so easily. He refused to go down with out a fight. And then I was wounded in the back by the second assailant. While my weapon wielding shoulder ached in pain, I flung around to face him. Ah ha! The sword of the smaller one lay just ahead of me. I now had two swords, surely I would come forth a winner. With a warrior behind me and another in front, I began to fight. I swung my swords against one, then turned to face in other. This went on for what seemed like hours, though I know it was only moments. The second one retreated! Perhaps victory is mine! I shall give chase and conquer him in his village! As I lung ever so gracefully forward he straightens. "Mom, Pirates don't skip!" he says. Oh. I thought we were knights.

Tagged Game

Here are the rules:
1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post, the player tags 5 people and posts their name, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they've been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

What was I doing 10 years ago: Ten years ago I had been married one whole day, so you can guess what I was doing! Oh, it was a Tuesday so I went to work! You and your dirty mind!

Five Snacks I enjoy: In a perfect, non weight-gaining world:
1. Starbucks-grande-mocha-frappicino with lots of whip cream.
2. Starbucks Cranberry Orange Muffin (must be accompanied by number 1, while number 1 is okay on it's own or with a treat!
3. I Hate Chocolate (a delicious brownie treat I make)
4. M&M's and a glass of water
5. McDonalds sausage, egg and cheese biscuit with a md Dr. Pepper.

In the real world:
1. My husband is awesome and amazing.
2. I have the best, best friend ever.
3. I'm an internet junkie who is techo-spoiled along with techo-challenged.
4. I love movies, some shoot-em-up games and balloons.
5. I don’t like getting up early.

Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
1. Secretly meet other people’s financial needs.
2. Be super thrilled that my husband could be home with us everyday...okay 6 days a week!
3. Travel in a huge travel trailor around the country and reach people for Jesus.
4. Open more network churches
5. Invest for our future generations to have wealth too.
Oh, and get a maid for sure, that one doesn't even count 'cuz it's a given!

Five jobs that I have had:
1. Mom
2. Wife
3. Cook
4. Teacher
5. Maid
Oh wait, those are five jobs that I currently have...here are five I had:
1. Childcare provider
2. Vacation Sales Agent for Delta Vacations, AAA Vacations and Marriott Vacations
3. Shift manager for Popcorn Poppers Express
4. Movie theater (where I met my husband) concession, door and film.
5. Snow Cone Stand (hey I was like 14!)

Three of my habits:
1. Clicking "update" as I walk by the computer to check email.
2. Collecting crap. I'm always bringing more junk home that we don't need.
3. Clamping my jaw. Even after my surgeries, it's sometimes really painful.

Five place I have lived:1
. Enid, Oklahoma (18 years)
2. Bartlesville, Oklahoma (1 year)
3. Ft. Lauderdale, Florida (1 year)
4. Enid, Oklahoma ( 1 year)
5. Edmond, Oklahoma (8 years)

What do you want others to get from your blog: A giggle or two. Selfishly, I think it's mostly for me. I love to write and it's kinda nice having a place to put it rather than just writing for no reason. I guess it would be nice to know if anyone is reading it or laughing at it. Of course right now, it's not been too funny.

Who are you going to tag:
I don't know...

Grounded?

My crazy mother is at it again. Last week she called me at about 10:30 at night. My husband answered. He walked in with the phone and said "She's right here." With a questioning look he handed me the phone and mouthed "She sounds mad!" He waited for my reaction. This is how that conversation went...
"Bobbi Lynn?! Where are you?!" Mom says very sternly.
"I'm at home." I reply.
"NO YOUR NOT!! I"M HERE AND YOU ARE NOT HERE !" she hollars at me. "You were suppose to be home at 9:30!"
"Okay" was all I could whisper.
"When are you going to be here?"
"I'll be home in a little bit."
"You'd better be!"
"Okay."
"You're grounded!"
"Okay."
"I'm going to bed, you wake me up when you get here so I know you're home."
"Okay."
"I mean it Bobbi Lynn! You better get your ass home!"
"Okay, I'll be there soon."
"Bye."
"Bye."
I looked at my husband and said "Well, I'm grounded." and he laughed. I told him the half of the conversation that he didn't hear. Then he expressed his concern. It's one thing to go through all this with Dad and Danny with their recent passing but we just leaped back about 13 years, give or take a couple. I've been married for ten years yesterday! So now that we've again established the instability of my mother's fragile psyche, let me tell you about another of our interesting conversations....
Late evening, night before last, I'm snuggled up on the couch with my husband for some grown up tv time, a commodity at our house. My cell phone rings and it's my mom. I know she's probably asleepawake. I answer and she says "Bobbi, what exit is your street? I think I'm almost to your house."
"What?!" I shriek as I bound off the couch, "Where are you?!" I motion to my husband to call in the calvary. He gets on the horn to reach my sisters so we can plan our next move. She has driven to the store while awakeasleep before. The though of my mother, in la-la land, tooling about the countryside in her pick up is terrifying! She tells me she is not sure where she is but she thinks she's almost here. "Are you on I35?" I ask. "I don't know." is all that she can tell me. A few times she tried to get off the phone with me and I start to panic. "NO MOM!!! DON"T HANG UP!" I yell at her. "Put your shoes on!" I mouth to Stephen. He throws up his arms and says "Where am I gonna go?" "I don't know!" I mouth back.

I asked her to tell me what was around her, trees, houses, lights, what?! She never really gives us an answer that is of much help but there was something about no houses around. My sister is trying to locate her husband and I'm looking up neighbors phone numbers on the computer. I wondering if she ever made it out of Enid. "Mom, look for a sign for me. Tell me what the next sign says. I might be just a number and that's okay, I just need you to read me the next sign you see." She agrees but them says she doesn't see any signs. I'm getting a little freaked. All these things running through my head like her driving until she runs out of gas, thumbing a ride, ending up in a ditch.... okay "Mom, I need to know where you are!" My voice must have sounded stressed because she started getting nervous too. "I don't know! I think I'm lost! I'm scared Bobbi!" she whimpers. I realize that I have to maintain my composure so that she doesn't get to stressed.

Again I try to get her to tell me about what is around her or read me a sign. She asks me to hold on while she turns a corner. "READ THE STREET SIGN!!" I scream before she puts the phone down. So we have concluded that she's not on an interstate and not in a neighborhood. Great, we've got her pinpointed now. She says that she doesn't see a street sign and an image creeps into my head of Mom, on some backwoods dirt road without signs, low on gas and possible not dressed. She tells me that the truck stalled and put the phone down for a few seconds. She tells me she got it back started and I hear it, but it's louder this time. So now, my possible undressed, completely nutty mother is on some dirt road without signs, low on gas and is out of her car! I ask her to get back in the truck and she does. It's still loud so I ask her to roll up the window and she does. It still seems louder than it did before but whatever. I've got to find her!

I try again to coax any information out of her that might be useful. Ronda is on her way to Mom's house to find her husband so they go 'hunting.' This conversation has gone on for over 10 minutes and my heart was pounding the entire time. "Mom." I say very calmly, "I have to know where you are. Tell me about the road you are on. Does it have two lanes, does it have four?" She switches gears without any warning and throws me for a loop "What are you talking about roads and lanes for? I'm mowing the backyard." WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I have no idea what is going on! "MOM! Turn off the mower and go inside." My husband flips around and looks at me with his forehead wrinkled up. "I can't! I have to get this mowed of Cliff is going to be mad!" she whimpers again. "You don't have to mow it now Mom, we'll mow it tomorrow." Stephen, again on the phone with the calvary relays the info and says "They mowed the yard today!" "Well, she's mowing it again!" I tell him.

"MOM!! TURN OFF THE MOWER!" I say in a voice that you should never use to talk to your parents with. "Okay" she complies. "GO IN THE HOUSE!" As she walks to what I hope is her house and not some farmers on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere, I hear the phone ringing. Stephen is calling it from his cell! What a smart guy! I confirm that she in fact in her house and she closes his phone. He's still on the house phone with my sister who asks if we should still have Ronda go over there. I don't know! I ask mom to please lie down and she does. She's not going to go to bed, just take a nap. Fine with me! I ask her to stay lied down until Ronda gets there is she says "Please No! Don't let Ronda come over here! I don't want to talk to Ronda!" Okay, so she's upset with Ronda about something. "Alright, well you lay down or I'm gonna have Ronda come over there!" I get off the phone with her, leaving her on the couch of her 'nap.'

A few minutes later Ronda calls with the update. She arrived at mother's house where she finds our mother in the back of the pickup, wearing only a t-shirt and undies. When she sees Ronda, she starts to yell and cuss and tells her to get the F out of there and all kinds of other lovely things. I don't know at what point Mom 'came to' but when I was on the phone with Ronda, Mom was sitting across from her with no recollection of what just happened. I can hear her in the background and I tell Ronda "She's not awake!" "Bobbi," Ronda says in her calm authoritative voice "I'm sitting right her talking to her and she is awake." "I'm awake!" Mom says in the background. Her voice still sounds different, like it does when she's asleepawake. I get off the phone and Ronda comes home. Mom calls me back a bit later. She kind of remembers Ronda being there, but not why and nothing before that. I tell her what happened and she apologizes up and down. Ahh, it's not her fault she's nuts. She tells me about her stressful evening and it doesn't suprise me. She has her worse episodes after stressing about something. Her and Cliff had a fight about his son coming to stay with them for a while. I guess it was pretty ugly and he stormed off to sleep in the semi that was parked down the road. We talked for another 1/2 hour and then both decided it was time for bed. For real this time.

We didn't catch each other to talk to her yesterday but we talk again today. She starts to tell me about the fight her and Cliff had... I remind her that we talked that night and she has no memory of it. She doesn't remember Ronda. She doesn't remember being in the bed of the pickup half naked. She doesn't remember our phone conversation. She certainly doesn't remember mowing the backyard in the middle of the night. I bet the neighbors do.