Ummm... What Will They Wear?

I'm going on a retreat this weekend... and I'm a little nervous about being away from home. I'm not worried about sleeping in a strange bed in a strange place with a bunch of what could turn out to be strange women. I'm not worried that my husband can't handle it, he is a Mighty Warrior and it will be a great Warrior Weekend for him and our four boys. I'm not worried about what they will eat. The oldest two can make everyone food, the third child who is three, will not go hungry. He has no problem hopping up on the cabinet and making his own peanut butter sandwich. I'm not sure why he makes less of a mess than the older two but I digress... The baby, now he is a scavenger so he'll eat the trail that the other boys leave behind, or he'll eat the cat food. Either way, he will not starve.

I AM worried about what my family will put on themselves to cover their bodies! Nearly every stitch of cloth in this house is clean. That is something to cheer for because I can't remember if that has EVER happened in our house. But, the clothes are not put away. There are no less than 7 FULL loads of clean laundry in my room, still in their buckets. It's not that I hate folding laundry, though I do, it's just that I've been busy cleaning out closets and getting rid of a TON of stuff. So I do have somewhat of an excuse. Now, I can spend several minutes (per child, okay per person!) digging through these buckets to find everyone a decent, only semi wrinkled outfit that is at least adequate for a brief public appearance. I can't say that my husband can or will do that! What will they wear? Will they wear the same clothes for the three days I will be gone or just swap shirts with each other and call it good?

As I expressed my heartfelt concern to my best friend (who is also going and is worried about much more important stuff like how she will do for a 6 hour car ride, what if we sleep in a unairconditioned screen cabin, what if there are lots of bugs, what the heck will be do without kids for three days...) and she laughed. Yep, she laughed at me. Then she said "Bobbi, they are boys! All they need is some underwear. They ain't gonna leave the house all weekend! If their underwear get dirty, they will flip them inside out and be good for another day or so." So now, I'm not only worried about their inability to find clothing, I'm also disgusted at the prospect of inside out, dirty underwear wandering around my house getting germs everywhere. Granted, I know it was just a joke, but it was alarming none the less, I do have boys after all.

I then expressed my heartfelt concern to my husband and he laughed. Yep, he laughed too. Is this funny to anyone else? I didn't think so! Then he said "Honey, don't worry about that. We will probably be in our underwear all weekend. We won't be going anywhere!" Did my husband and my best friend discuss my psychosis or is the reality that my family will really be home and undressed for 60+ hours? Then he proceeds to calm my fears by telling me that he and the boys may just build a bonfire in the front yard, roast marshmallows and skewer the nearest pig to smoke. Oh, I feel much better now! 5 nearly naked pale face warriors running around with pointy sticks, loaded up on sugar. This is why Xanax was created friends, and I may need some when I come home to something that resembles Lord of The Flies! Surely, they will remain at least partially clothed, fed on sandwiches and frozen pizzas and warmed by the heater not a fire. But just in case, you'd better keep your livestock locked up.